i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
