I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
