Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
porn star boner night. come get it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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