He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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