Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
