also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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