That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
