Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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