AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
