god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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