Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize