don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well I just put wine in my tea
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
