I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
