Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
