I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
