So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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