I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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