hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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