just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
