he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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