i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm passing your future prison.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
