I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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