Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize