is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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