We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
