Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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