PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
