is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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