i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
