My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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