Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
