tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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