Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
