Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
