i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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