people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
