Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
