I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
