five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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