Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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