I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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