return my video game
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
