you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize