Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
