I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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