dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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