a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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