Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
