I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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