It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
