Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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