i just had sex bonerless
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize