Dual....:-)
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
