wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize