Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
