Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
