we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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