I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
