i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
