You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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