Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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