Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
