she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
