I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had to cum in my sink.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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