Yo dont text me then not text me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
they call him Oral-B. enough said
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
