Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
