God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize