Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
