I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
