I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
