There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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