That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
